One of my friends recently said something silently with such an assertion that it stuck to me. It was deep and had a far greater meaning than the conversation it was originally meant for:
Your ex’s ex is you! - said my friend RD
I am giving myself leverage to reveal this but RD had a troubled childhood and has not seen love in the form that I experienced it, family, cousins, friends, among others. And that sparked a flurry of thoughts into my mind:
- Be like how you would wish your ex to be
- Do what you would want to see yourself when old
- Live as any person would love you
- Achieve personality as anyone would love
- And love everyone, my friend! 🌹
I digressed from my main blog topic for a bit just to give a hint of what my mind is going through these days. On one end, there’s a deep desire to go back home, meet my parents, meet her, her parents, spend some quality time and love everyone, while on another end there is the Facebook job which has its complications if I go on leave. Long story short, I may be in a safer situation by quitting than by staying back at Facebook (and Singapore in general).
There’s so much going on in India outside the constant fear of diseases, parents health going down and wish to see me, my girl longing for me and to have me meet her parents. Money and Job are probably a lesser concern right now for me personally and for my future in general. I have to go to India and bring my house in order to secure my love, meet with people and assuage my fears. In all of these, I am yet to convince myself of my maturity to handle such big things as my parent’s health, changes in life after marriage, and financial/emotional security.
I respect my girl enough to offer her to continue to stay at her home. And if she feels uncomfortable to move to the hometown of my choice, that I should be willing to have her due space, which means we both will be staying in
Jaipur. Another situation is that we both can work and live in
Bangalore, as we can get easy connectivity and a job there. While the current situation is that our families know about us but haven’t talked to each other, we cannot decide our life otherwise. I feel me going to opt for a remote job or a work from India model is the logical solution to these. I should be the man and offer what everyone should, to live at a place of her choice. Would it be like hearing others whim about me being in her hometown and not on my own, probably yes! I feel there’s a need to be together first and do these explanations slowly. Bigger questions being, would she not feel my over-involvement in her life, given we will switch to being roommates from dating couples.
In all of this, the place where I will continue to live has come up for a question. Is it India or Singapore has become a big thing! I love Singapore as much as I love the song Yellow Submarine. But I also cannot wait to travel back. In the current situation, my reentry in Singapore is restricted by govt depending on disease control priorities, not considering me or the company.
Facebook’s policies don’t allow employees to work from India specifically because of fear of govt intervention into user data security concerns, which means even if govt disapproves my reentry for a while, I will go on unpaid leave. I am also expected to take a pre-approval from Facebook before I visit India. I feel very uncertain and insecure. There’s no clarity when this situation can change or will it ever change. I may be choked by money when I am expected to spend more.
Some companies allow employees to work from anywhere and even from my hometown when their job is in Singapore or Tokyo or San Francisco or London or even within India. It’s very tough for people to understand why Facebook has policies against allowing so. It appears
humans are for policies rather than policies are for humans. While Facebook’s experience has been super nice and productive to me, I felt like speaking up on what matters to me most! I feel family matters are way too important to be ignored. Till I give the final papers, I will continue to exceed expectations and do my best to expand the FB empire. Indeed, FB has been and will be a glorious company that I have ever worked for.
I feel its probably the best to bring certainty to my career. I don’t even think of staying in any other country other than my home 🏠 India and my work worship precious land 🇸🇬 Singapore. I am needed physically fit and lovable and up to everyone’s expectations to earn and be there at hometown, which means I should stay at
Patna for a while. At this point, among all the choices given to me, I feel it will be optimal to go to India and continue to befriend the community of Singapore where I lived for so long. If things go well in my future, I may wish to return! But currently, it appears:
Facebook’s policies aren’t sending friend requests to employees anymore!
I wish to make a move before tomorrow, which apparently never comes until its too late.
career life family