Pressure To Marry

I am being asked tonnes of times to marry and I feel it’s somewhat pressurizing. This blog is about my thoughts around marriage and all the gazillion arguments thrown at me to convince getting married soon.

1: Turning 30 soon

The title of being a “chief” marriage conversation starter has carried on from to another, I would admit that this has retained the top spot throughout the covid year. Beta, you should get married soon, you will soon be over 30. No one will consider you as a good prospective groom then. It seems like an age which is more than just a number and sort of a mental benchmark when judging maturity level for a perfect coupling.

2: Nothing like pressurizing

My parents do get swayed by what my relatives say simply because my facetime is comparatively lower. No one feels that this marriage talk is pressurizing at all and virtually everyone these days seems to be ready to lecture on how marriage is just a thing we should all get along by with.

3: Overall a cringy discussion

Also, everyone in my family and friends brings up the topic of marriages/kids atleast once in each marriage discussion. I never thought the world would be so much wanting me to get into a formal relationship. It feels very cringy at times. I wonder why does no one think/suggest me to adopt instead? There are so many kids longing for upliftment and waiting for adoption. I could play my part to bring more cheer to society.

4: Euphemism around sex

Sometime back I developed a feeling that sex could be one of the most exciting things about getting married. Like one gets it every day, without holiday breaks and starts the day afresh. I’ll admit, even the thought of it brings happiness and smiles. The ceremonial theatrics around marriage personally feels like a long ritual designed to bring euphemism around intimacy. These crass thoughts get hyphenated especially when there’s little discussion of family meeting one another, bonding with the partner but just kids and age.

5: Longing for MY kids

Seems like the whole world wants me to reproduce! Having the male privilege, my role in reproduction is anyways the same, no matter whether I have my biological kid or just enjoy with contraceptions and adopt a child! Hearing everyone longing to see my kid(s) rings me a TLDF thought, which is what they would say if I delay child making, too long didn’t fuck!

6: Think of old age support

Some nicer anties bring up the concern for my future. Who is going to support me when I am old! I must have someone whom I can share my thoughts with, who can keep me grounded. More than “any other thing”, one gets emotional and financial support from a partner. Its something which I can’t deny has its benefits, but only if the partner gells well. There are tonnes of people who went into marriage with the same thought (or lesser) but had to part ways because of incompatibility. I do not want to have a painful future, no one does!

7: Love vs Arranged

My parents know me quite well. They do offer me carrots at times. Some of them could be the photo of a pretty looking girl, or the openness to discuss marriage with anyone whom I see. Arranged marriage is very weird, it has nothing to offer other than an materialism such as an absolute hottie whom I can’t date otherwise, possibly with a good resume and big bank balances with her daddy’s. It’s a pure gamble to bet my life with such a person I dont connect at first! Love seems like a better option in terms of comfort but as famous it is to keep people blinded, it is risky to pull off! Love partners come from different communities and there is a lack of family comfort and threads pulling together. Communities who do not know each other also have stereotypes. It can explode anytime, there is a magnetism in the relationship but a repulsion in families. How do I weigh in the factors and how they would play out in the future!

8: Please leave me alone

Sometimes, I feel I will never get the answer to these questions. People have been marrying for ages and I am sure several others would have written long pieces of literature over this topic. Maybe it is just me or maybe there are several others like me. It is my life-changing moment and I am not sure what to do, how to, when to, or even at times why to.

Overall my conclusion is that I am unable to decide anything on this topic and I am just delaying the things as much as possible or till the external pressure overwhelms.