Why I started writing!

Hi there, this is my first blog post.

It’s June’18, 2019 and I am writing from Bangalore where I have come on leave from my office. Too many thoughts in my mind to write about, that I can think of in parallel. But before that series starts, I think I owe an explanation on why I am writing to not only motivate others for a great habit of writing but also to explain why should someone read me.

Moving onto my present, I feel I have a very successful life wrt career, bank balance, salary, happy parents, settled sisters, future family plannings, cute niece and two noisy nephews but there are also things which keep bothering me now and then - example news that I follow or something that I made and could not put to the public - so I decided to let them flow. Arguing in favour of writing, I may sound weird by claiming that I have wasted 27 years & 3 months exactly in my life as I often lack clarity on what I want to do next - and that writing my head out has provided an anchor to my thoughts and given me some clarity. I may sound angry at times in my tone, sometimes being a software engineer in a multi-national corporate it comes naturally LoL, or maybe because I am just being honest. It’s also true that there is a hollowness in me, I am not sure where to share, whom to tell, so I wrote to express and to validate my thoughts. Maybe my thoughts would be very out-of-the-world or unrelatable types and give a feeling of आख़िर कहना क्या चाहते हो।, I still feel my clouds of thoughts are worth penning/typing down or say.

It takes high courage to express opinions in public when I keep the privacy settings of my old Facebook posts as ‘Only Me’. I believe every person lives a unique life but there is a degree of shared challenges could be more or less the same. For example, I may become anxious about my class test scores all my childhood but for others, they could draw parallels to how I deal about my feelings to know how they can deal or not deal with their problems. I would try to keep in mind not to express very prescriptive-ly and teacher’ish in my writings. Okay, I know there would be problems in discovering my poor blog on the internet with my friends only being the first visitors, but it’s enough if it’s read by just a few. Ideas never die! Whether we go through our highs and lows, we always have something to share.

One more thing I also realise is that we have a solution to all the problems in our heads but when it comes to putting them to practice, we realise how difficult it is to implement them to our own life. Implementation of ideas is something where I or anyone else might not be so useful other than learnings, but the spark of thoughts is equally important. Sometimes, We just close doors of fresh air and get clogged up by our problems in a loop and I find it difficult to get out of that zone and lay down my thoughts to practice. With writing, atleast I will documents what I think. Whenever I would cry as a kid, I would continue to be sad for no reason until someone cracks a joke for me. My family members especially uncle, sisters, grandparents entertained this for some time, and after a few years (maybe after class 6th / 10 years age) people just stopped entertaining me. After some days, I stopped crying for little things since it had little to no effect in getting chocolates and jokes in return for my tears. Not every problem needs to have a solution like that though.

Some future predictions now, most likely I would die without attaining much importance for people that they would care to write about me. Or like all those people who are dead now and would have done great work in their life but we never hear about them, no matter what they did - unless they are Hitler or Tesla or Mother Teresa of their times. Or maybe by the time I could gain any importance with years of dedicated work (which is unlikely!), I fear to most certainly lose track of my silly stories that I still have rather fresh in my mind.

I want to have contributed to the world in whatever ways possible and continue to believe that my work is rich and helpful to others than just to have expressed dissatisfaction at everything. So, readers here are my Clouds of Thought.

Besides all my reasoning, the one last trigger was that I stumbled upon Feeling Responsive website of which my website is a clone. I have also thanked the original creator phlow via Twitter and I feel lucky to have found this creation which made my starting curve very easy.