Not a day goes by these days when my parents (especially mom) doesn’t make me realize my age! I know I am about to cross the holy or rather unholy - thirty years of age! Now, that should just be a number but apparently to many people, 30 signals be the dead-end of singlehood. It is half the average human half-life and unsurprisingly also a half for reproductive life. At times, I have seen marriage as a euphemistic and ritualized sex. But when I am romanticizing, I see it as a motivation to get me to move countries as well. Previously, I talked about various marriage pressures as a 30 years old bachelor and in this blog, I will go deeper into my fears.
Settling in India or Abroad?
This question of moving has its own set of pros and cons with no clear winner. I may end up writing a separate blog for this topic since it has deep consequences on every aspect of my future!
Homemaker vs Working wife
I hate the idea of having a house lady, waiting for me to talk to her and feel entertained when I return home. It feels like this way I may end up having a master-slave relationship. I have decided to ask my to-be wife to have a dignified job, no matter how less or high paid that job is! But a homely wife brings her advantages.
I am also quizzed with the various responsibilities that my in-laws will expect from me. I can’t imagine myself either not talking to them often or even talking in the typical “phuphaji attitude”! There is a big pressure to exceed in image building in front of a host of people whom neither I know not I will connect with, but I feel pressured to impress them.
I am also genuinely concerned about the financial share that I need to make towards the welcoming of my new family and the whole ceremonies thing. I haven’t been saving much and in such a situation, if anyone is expecting me to contribute to more than my pocket supports, I may end up having a red face.
Added to all of the above material and immaterial things, most important is my lady. I feel underprepared to support her emotionally. I am clueless when I think of situations when my parents and she has a heated discussion. Will I be a man and take sides like I have never done at home or will I be the good silent kid and let it pass off only to brutally brush the events down under the carpet of
ye to chalta hai.
Chat mangni pat biyaah
As if all the above were not enough, because of me getting closer to 30 before covid ends, my parents are pressurizing me to marry whoever I can, as if its a joke! Deadlines and threats are being shared and if nothing works, anties and uncles from extended family are also bringing
agua/rishta to my home. It feels super weird when some of them start to talk about my kids before even my marriage has solemnized. It is like they took
Chat mangni pat byah to a whole new level altogether.
Honestly, the whole concept of marriage has soo many unknowns that it feels like a big gamble! I am not sure which way my life is headed. During the tough covid times, it has become especially stressful to even think that after a couple of meetings with her and her parents, I may end up married. I cannot believe, how people go into marriage so easily.
life marriage motivation